Sunday, January 29, 2012

So Cheesy, and Kinda Pointless.

I've been avoiding writing this "last" blog post, if you want to call it that. I saw Mrs. Cardona's assignment for us to write one, open topic, on Thursday night, and since then I've just had thoughts of what I wanted to say in my head, but no idea how to say them.

I've been avoiding it because I know it will be cheesy and dramatic and sentimental and it makes me feel awkward to show people that. It's probably human nature; we feel too vulnerable when we let everyone know what gets to us and what makes us sad and what we worry about and what we'll miss.

That being said, I really need to get it out of my system once and for all. So, prepare yourselves for a cheesy blog post, and then we can just leave it behind us all (until I look at my old blog posts and cringe at how dramatic I'm being in this one...whatever).

Like Kira mentioned in her blog post, the feeling you get when something ends is indescribable. You feel empty, like you're reaching for something that's not there. I was not a huge fan of this semester (Physics was awful, and AP Lit was a struggle for me), but there were moments that I enjoyed. I was counting down to the end of these classes, but when the final bell rang on January 25, I was hit with that empty feeling.

It's weird. It makes me think of the fact that high school is technically more than half over. I'm so excited for college, but the fact that the structure that comes with K-12 schooling is going to cease to exist for us in less than a hundred days scares the crap out of me. Yes we have more freedom to choose our classes and whatnot in high school, but we're still babied, and adults still hold our hands through everything. Most are friends with the people they've known since they were in elementary in middle school. When college starts, some of us are going to be in Minnesota still (me). Some are going to be in Iowa, or Wisconsin, or Michigan. Heck, some people won't even be in this country anymore. I just. I want to have a giant group hug with everyone, even the people I don't like (sorry). Just once.

I know that when we start college we'll forget. We'll have moments when we're like "oh, yeah, that girl was nice. I hung out with her a few times." and move on.

Moving on.

It happens eventually for everything. "I moved on" is a really easy phrase to say one you've done it. It's just the journey there that gives you that indescribable empty feeling.


  1. Fatima, this was tastefully sentimental, and not dramatic at all. If you want dramatic you should have known me MY senior year of high school. THAT was dramatic, holy cow. Anyway, you have so much to look forward to and you'll keep in touch with the people you care about and you'll meet new people who will change your life; it's really an amazing ride. But you're right about that weird empty feeling. It's there too.

    1. Thanks Mrs. Cardona. I'm going to walk into one of your classes one of these days in case you feel like telling me about your senior year...

  2. I really like this, Fatima.

    I have more to say, but I don't want to mess it up. There are a lot of emotions, actually, which don't have words to describe them.