Friday, March 9, 2012

Fatima has wanted to be an aspiring novelist since day one.

So, this is unbelievably embarrassing and I can't believe I'm putting this up on my blog that was originally for AP Comp. Anyway. I'm pretty sure this is either from the third or fourth grade, and I typed it exactly like it was written in my notepad. So that means all the typos were by me (I could spell especially but not instead. Okay). The light blue typing is my critique/comments, as Jenna assigned. Haha. At least we know my writing has significantly improved since I wrote this...enjoy. Don't judge me.
Hello! Chapter one (I really, really wanted to be an author "when I grew up" as a kid).
Hello! My name is Alisson you may notice that I sign my name like: [click] (there was something about handwriting and signatures that always fascinated me. I'd always try to incorporate it into my stories somehow, haha). Its because my teacher told our class that everyone was a star in his or her own way (that is so cheesy but I'm pretty sure one of my teachers actually did say that to our class) so, I thought that if I put a star insted of an A, it would look more interesting and that it would reminde me that I was a star in my own way. Before, my signature looked like this: [click]. That looked stupid. When I really sign my name it looks like this: (it's nothing too exciting). Let me tell you about myself. I have brownish reddish (ginger obsession goes way back) hair that is up to, I mean right below my sholders. I have brown eyes with gold speckles in them. I like sports. especially basketball. I have a brother named Paul. He has blonde hair and green eyes. My mom's name is Amy Warner I don't have a dad. I do not know what happend to him. I also have a rabbit. His name is Baxter. My brother thinks bunnies, dolphins, and horses are boring. Do you want to know why? It's because they are my favorite animals. This is what my room looks like: purple walls, a green desk, a bed that's blue and has dolphins on the bedspred (aka "I have the ugliest room ever"). They're are posters of bunnies, horses, dauphins and pictures of my family. Oh my goddness ("goddness" made me laugh so hard)! I forgot to tell you how old I am. I am 10 years old and in the 4th grade. My brother is 9 and in the 3rd grade. "Allie Warner get down here this seconde!" Mom shouted. "Coming!" I yelled back. I dashed out of my room and then down stairs. I was panting by the time I reached Mom in the kitchen. She was holding somthing orange. "Whats that Mom?" I asked. "It's an invetation to a birthday party!" She replied. She held it up to me. I read it in, like, 10 seconds (speedy...). "Cool!" I said "it's from my friend Susan Howards. "Darling, why don't you call her Mom said. "But I don't have her.-" then I relliezed that Mom was pointing to something at the bottom of the card. "Her phone number!" I said and laughed nervesly. She handed me the card. I took a deep break, picked up the phone, dialed Susans number, and waited. "Hello?" somebody said "Hello Susan? I want to tell you somthing."(End of the chapter. CLIFF HANGER, aren't you just dying to know what happens in Chapter Two now?!)


So. I've always been really curious about people, and that's all I'd write about when I was little. You can see that there is no plot whatsoever but there's a ton of description about what the characters looked like...I think I've always liked describing to people what I was seeing in my head, and wanted them to see the same thing. My story characters usually had qualities and hobbies that I wanted to have when I was little (gold speckled eyes sounds freaky and Twilight-ish now but I thought it was so cool. Also I wanted to be sporty but. Yeah). SO needless to say AP Comp has certainly improved my writing quality.


  1. I like to look back and see how spastic our writing was when we were younger. We go from one idea to the next with no transitions. We were a pro at free writing before we knew what it was!! I guess you get a 5/5... Especially since you did it on Friday :)

  2. AH! This is so cute!
    Fatima, as a third or fourth grader writing this, it's written really well. Most third and fourth graders wouldn't add all the details and have voice in their writing.
    So basically, this isn't embarrassing for you. It's just proving how amazing you are. And obviously you've improved, which makes you even better. Like...the things I wrote and fourth grade are probably about the quality I still write in.

    Anyway. I really like this.