Shaadi.

Shaadi. This is the Pakistani/Indian word that means wedding.

Weddings in Pakistan (I'll focus on Pakistan because that's where I've seen weddings, and it's where I'm from. Also some of the things I talk about might not be common in India) can be described by many different things, but usually words like colorful and festive come to mind.

There are three main days that make up a shaadi. They are known as mendhi (pre-wedding party), barat (actual wedding day) and valima (after wedding party). These days aren't like...72 hours of constant partying. It's like each day is a celebration in its own.

My cousin Amna
that got married in  2008

When a Pakistani person hears the word "mendhi" with regards to the party (because it's also the word meaning henna) they immediately think yellow.

The bride-to-be wears all yellow, and a majority of the guests wear warm colors like yellows, oranges, and reds (it's not a requirement though...notice I am wearing green). There's fat yellow and orange marigolds and jasmine flowers decorating the entire place, and the bride is adorned in the jasmine flowers as well. They wear jewelry that's made out of flowers (as you can see on my cousin) and the smell is like a natural perfume.

Amna and my brother, Mustafa

Mendhis typically have a lot of loud, celebratory practices associated with it, such as playing the dohl that an experienced aunt sits and plays, and singing and dancing. Mendhis are usually a celebration that are just with one side of the wedding, such as the bride with her family or the groom with his family. The two families mingle for the first time at the barat.

The dances are usually groups of people that perform a dance they've been practicing for weeks. I did one at Amna's wedding, and it was a ton of fun.

My family on the day of Amna's barat.

The next day of the shaadi is the barat. This is the day when the bride wears deep maroon colors, and loads of heavy jewelry, and little girls always look at the bride with admiration because they look so beautiful and different from what they usually look like.

The groom wears a saafa on his head, and wears flowers (funny, right? How the guys wear flowers and not the girls, so different from "American" weddings).

Getting dressed up for this day as a guest and as a bride is fun, because you get to go all out. Almost nothing is "over-the-top" or "too-much" (notice the velvet components of my outfit? Yeah...just like that).
For girls that like getting all fancy, it's a dream come true.

Amna & Saif

The barat is the main component of the wedding ceremony, when the bride is officially given away to the groom as a part of his family from that day on. The bride and groom sit on a stage, and meet and take pictures with all the guests that have come to their wedding. They feel like famous people for a day, so what's not to love?

Amna & Saif

My Family

The last day of the wedding celebration is the valima. This like a really extreme after party, that needs to be held a day after the actual barat so that everyone, especially the bride and the groom, are able to enjoy it. The bride and groom are usually more relaxed and stress free on this day, because the actual wedding has taken place, and they can meet with their guests with more ease. The groom and other male guests usually wear suits, and the female guests wear a more relaxed type of outfit than what they wore for the barat. Dressing up is still important for a valima, but not as much as it is for the barat. The bride still has to wear the more complex outfit, but it can be of a different color. The
 
    The valima is really fun, because everyone's had a chance to meet and     get to know each other a bit more than they did at the barat, when it was awkward-first-time-meeting conversations.





I think that American weddings tend to be a much calmer affair, while Pakistani weddings are more rambunctious and boisterous event. Like I said, when one thinks of a Pakistani wedding, you think color. After reading this blog post, I bet you will too, am I right?